And I thought it was just me!

The London Lassie is glad not to be the only one sick of fashion week freak shows.

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As February neared I grew more and more excited. What sort of fashion art would Holly Fulton conjure up? Could Christopher Bailey top last season? I planned my outfits, and I arranged what shows and parties to go to (well, since in the fashion world I’m positively working class, I decided what parties I could get to). As Friday came I slipped on my Karl Lagerfeld camouflage dress, I slid my toes into some spiked KG shoe boots, I clutched my Alexa bag and kept the February winds at bay with a black boucle jacket with studded shoulders. If I was to walk down the high street in my tiny Scottish home town I’d probably get a few looks. At London Fashion Week? Hell no.

My friend Ramla and I strolled into Somerset house to discover a swarm of photographers gathering around a seemingly stylish, or famous individual. First thoughts were Cara Delevingne, or perhaps Jourdan Dunn? Or, could we be lucky enough to catch a glimpse of the Wintour cracking a smile? No. It was a girl wearing a giant cat on her head.

For seasons I’ve been thinking someone’s gotta give – I can’t be the only one that finds these exhibitionists unfashionable? That’s why I was absolutely ecstatic when I read Laura Weir’s feature, ‘Is this fashion?’ in yesterday’s issue of Style. Like myself, Weir has noticed that these ‘fashion murderers’ (a fashion victim copies, these freaks are just plain cray) are all out for publicity and to be honest, don’t know shit about what looks good. It’s style vile, not street style!

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Tim Blanks, Editor-in-chief at style.com recently said street style “is empowering, but empowering in the way that reality television is empowering. It doesn’t make gods, it makes monsters”. Please Chanel (my fashion god), don’t make fashion like reality TV! I saw Arg from Towie at the last fashion week, it actually seems to be happening already!

These self promoting bloggers are all about getting photographed and will go to all odds to ensure it. Think bright colours, colourful wigs, a clash of hideous prints and necklaces made of Duplo. And most of them act disgruntled when they get pictured. You poor little infamous bloggers.

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But can you go all out and get it right?

I actually think you can. But it’s rarer than seeing Victoria Beckham smile. Ever heard of Pandemonia? A giant plastic doll like ‘work of art’ that (I think) pokes at the fake and shallow culture we live in. We don’t know who the latex wearer is – is it a man, or a woman? Pandemonia is kind of the Banksy of the fashion world. P’Trique is another one. Just google him. He’s too funny for words. Take note: if you’ve got a point, or a crazy personality to match, I’ll let you off.

Pandemonia

Pandemonia

P'Trique

P’Trique

Which bloggers get my vote in the style stakes? Number 1 has to be Kristina Bazan, the beautiful Swiss blogger. Then Audrey Rogers (Be Frassy) and finally, an up-and-coming blogger who I think sticks to her own style, Tamara at Glam & Glitter.

Kristina Bazan

Kristina Bazan

Audrey Rogers

Audrey Rogers

Tamara (Glam & Glitter)

Tamara (Glam & Glitter)

What do you think of LFW exhibitionists? Which bloggers do you think get it right?

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London calling…

The London Lassie explores the best trends seen at London Fashion Week…

It’s that time of year again. We’ve not even managed to slip a toe into Alexander Wang’s SS13 white strappy sandals before we’re witnessing the styles of next winter. Fashion is exhausting. A lot of worldwide editors used to take a breather during London shows, going straight to Milan from New York. Not any more  It seems every season, the British dose of catwalk stomping gets stronger. And with British designers such as Christopher Kane growing rapidly, it seems things can only get better from here.

This season London showed a hell of a lot of textures, colours, and cuts. But, after putting the looks through the fashion filter here comes the top trends. Take mental note though: you’ve yet to embrace the summer styles…

 PUNK:

After London collections it’s clear punk is huge for next winter, and with New York’s Metropolitan Museum of Art launching a major punk retrospective in May, it came as no surprise. What better place to celebrate this rebellious culture than the big smoke – the birthplace of the movement.

Ashish used Mohican rocking tomboy models dressed in plaid smocks and stilettos. Clements Ribeiro showed us glamour puss punks who wore fierce pointed leather ankle boots with cute kilts and embellished collared black shirts. Todd Lynn juxtaposed the sleekness of his tailored suits and beautiful lace combos by piercing his models’ septums with bull hooks. Holly Fulton, who usually showcases ladylike designs, showed the eagerly awaiting crowd red and black speckled biker jackets, leather pleated skater skirts, pointy punk ankle boots and red lipstick lined with dark pencil. And the star studded Unique show showed PVC is the fabric next season with the likes of Cara Delevingne rocking the catwalk in PVC pencil skirts and oversized aviator jackets.

Clements Ribeiro

Clements Ribeiro

Holly Fulton

Holly Fulton

Next winter we’ll be wearing: plaid, PVC, quiffs, stiletto ankle boots, black, red, oversized biker jackets, facial piercings, and bright eye make up.

Olive:

Although London showed that winter shades need not be dreary with copious pinks and cornflower blue hues, there was one clear shade that made an appearance – dark olive. Think the colour of a really rich and expensive olive oil mixed with an army uniform. Thanks to Jonathan Saunders, John Rocha, Mulberry, Daks, and many more for giving us this delicious shade to wear next season.

Jonathan Saunders

Jonathan Saunders

Issa

Issa

John Rocha

John Rocha

Next winter we’ll be wearing: all-in-one rich green leather combos, olive A-line dresses with PVC belts and dark khaki macs.

Skirts over trousers:

The likes of Mulberry,Clements Ribeiro and Todd Lynn have reconciled an unusual pair – the skirt and trouser. They had a brief fling in the 90s and early noughties when teenage girls wore the combo to Boyzone and B*Witched gigs nationwide, but the trend didn’t last long. Could this pair be back together for good? As The Reunion hits our TVs, perhaps there will be a bit more than nostalgic music memories coming back…

Mulberry

Mulberry

Todd Lynn

Todd Lynn

Next winter we’ll be wearing: ask again later…

Metallics:

Winter can be a dreary time for the style savvy – but never fear, the likes of Antipodium, Giles and Issa showed that metallics are the way to go next season. Think brash gold shown by the likes of KTZ, Giles, L’Wren Scott and Issa.

Antipodium

Antipodium

Giles

Giles

Issa

Issa

Next winter we’ll be wearing: Metallic gold party dresses, shiny silver suits, and gleaming parkas.

Big Beanies:

There’s only one way to keep your head warm next season – an extra large beanie. Yeah yeah yeah, this was shown a lot in New York by designers such as Alexander Wang and half of the attendees but everyone knows this is a British trend!? Started by East London kids (ahem last year, Manhattan) designers have picked up on the street style trend. And anyone who people-watched at Somerset house must have been blind if they didn’t notice the army of Prosecco sipping camera snapping bright beanie wearers. Shown by the likes of Giles and Sister by Sibling in London – it’s clear a giant knitted wonder is the only thing to wear on your head next season. But Brits did it first, okay?

Giles

Giles

Sister by Sibling

Sister by Sibling